Photo/illustration: Alex Tomoff

Tim wasn’t burning with desire to go home. His two little daughters waited for him there. He just rested his head on the desk. He was at the office. He worked as an accountant. Lately, he’d been often wondering how to escape the hell he was in.

He looked out the window. It was late November, and it was dark outside. It was 6:30, but dark as a night. December was gradually approaching, and November was only leaving a wet rain trail behind. Right now, the rain was pouring outside. Tim was mutely humming “Silent Night” without realizing it when the door opened abruptly without a knock.

‘Tim, I appreciate that you love your work and the office this much,’ his boss said and cleared his throat. ‘I appreciate that recently you’ve been working late and everything, but today, you must leave early.’ The man checked his watch, ‘Actually… right now.’ The large ginger figure eyed Tim from behind the opened door. ‘They are fumigating in the office, remember?’

Tim did remember.

His boss smiled and wished Tim a good evening then smiled again, patted slackly on the doorframe and walked away.

So, he had to go home to his daughters after all.

Wonderful. I live with the girls, and my lovely ex, Silvia, enjoys her peace and makes fun of me when I tell her about the girls. She even mocks me.

He put on his coat, turned out the lights and closed the door.

He stepped onto the sidewalk. It wasn’t raining this much anymore; the rain was now turned to this strange watery mass of extremely tiny drops, almost pulverized-like. It wasn’t cold outside; the wind had dissipated. The evening sky was reddish. What puts that red tinge to the night sky? Must be a glare from the earth.   

Although the rain was not heavy anymore, it still soaked his face and clothes. Tim wondered if his kids were home or if they had gone somewhere. Could he learn to live with them? Would it mean he’d be some sort of a super-parent? That he’d be the greatest parent on earth if he takes them to live with him without objecting their presence around him?

But he just couldn’t stand them; his nerves couldn’t take it. They were not bad kids; it was just he couldn’t stand to be around them.

***

He got home, dropped the keys in the bowl and went to the kitchen. He wondered if they had eaten, if his daughters ate at all.

*

He watched TV for three hours then went to bed relatively calm. After all, he was used to them being around, so their presence wasn’t burning a hole in his brain like it used to in the first days and weeks. But still, he couldn’t stand them.

*

‘Daddy …’

Go to Hell! No. No. NO!

‘Daddy …’ Rebecca continued, ‘you didn’t tell us a bedtime story, and you didn’t sing to us tonight. Isn’t it time for Christmas carols already?’

The girl climbed into bed with him and managed to kick him with her knee. The younger one, Monica, appeared at the door too. She was sleepy, and a doll hung from her hand, holding her plastic wrist. The girl and the doll silhouettes outlined somewhat oddly in the doorframe, too contrasting with the back wall.

‘Daddy …’ Whatever she had wanted to say after that, she forgot; it got lost in her sleepy, little head, and she just staggered to the bed and climbed on it too. She snuggled in her father and closed her eyes.

Rebecca stared at him. She was obviously waiting for her bedtime story and a song.

‘No!’ Tim shouted and jumped out of bed. ‘No. Just no. I can’t. I can’t take it anymore! I just can’t! Get out!’

He put on his slippers. ‘No! I will get out!’

The two kids stared at him in bewilderment. They couldn’t understand what was happening. Tears welled up in their eyes. And little Monica was still sleepy and very confused.

***

Tim dressed and went for the door. While walking, he turned and shouted, ‘Well. I guess you are coming as well, aren’t you? Do I have a choice?’

The girls regarded each other but didn’t say a thing.

Tim hurried to go out before they followed him. He flew out the door, and the girls stood there speechless, watching their father going away.

As he descended the stairs, he wondered if the girls were crying upstairs.

*

A few moments later, Tim backed out of the driveway, put it in Drive – almost ripping out the gear lever – and sped across the streets in the neighborhood. He didn’t even notice it wasn’t raining anymore. It was snowing – light snow, delicate, recently transformed from rain. Very soon, it would thicken until the snow covered the earth with a white blanket.

*

Before, around that time of the year, Tim, Silvia, Rebecca, and little Monica would sing Christmas carols, charging their festive mood. But that was before. Now things were different. Much different. Christmas would never be the same again.

Who knows why “Silent Night” was the two little girls’ favorite song. Not just around the holidays but all year round. They would often sing it or hum it on a July morning or a May evening. Both of them. It was their most favorite song of them all.

*

The cabin was about seventy-five miles from the city. With the lack of traffic, he had to get there fast.

Tim was still not noticing how thicker the snowfall was getting. It would soon be a blizzard. The snowy white blanket that covered the earth was getting softer. Snowplows were not on the roads yet, and everything was way too slippery. Tim drove too fast. He kept the speedometer jumping. Few times, the car drifted and almost skidded off the road. He liked the adrenaline rush and stepped on the pedal even harder. Tim enjoyed the thought of crashing and dying. He laughed out loud.

*

He thought he heard “Silent Night”. He checked the rearview mirror but only saw the empty back seat.

Tim drove even faster.

Was it possible? Was it really possible to get rid of the two girls? Finally!

Without realizing it, Tim sang “Silent night” alone in the dark car, speeding among those snowflakes dancing in front of his headlights. He even smiled. Creepy and insanely. The car careened the turns, scattering snow from the asphalt.

The heavy blizzard quickly covered the traces after him.

*

‘Daddy …’ Rebecca put her hand on his shoulder. What Tim first saw in the rearview mirror was his own face – the face of true terror as the darkness of the back seat covered the child.

***

The next morning, the snow cover was about twelve inches thick. The cabin’s caretakers—a husband and wife—were really surprised to find Tim’s car on the side of the road. Door opened, all covered in snow. Engine still running.

‘Tim …?’ The man slowly approached the car, trying to see what was inside but carefully. After all, anything could be in it. He thought he should prepare for all kinds of possible sights.

‘Tim …?’

*

‘According to the coroner, Tim’s death was caused by asphyxia. Suffocation. His neck was not broken though,’ the caretaker told his wife as she cried. ‘It happened during the night.’

‘But, why? And why was he in such a hurry?’

‘I don’t know. There will be an investigation, but doubtfully something will come from it. You know, lately he hasn’t been okay in the head.’ The man hugged his crying wife. ‘Maybe … I don’t know, I guess he was in a hurry to finish the job he … he came for.’

*

A little after they had found his car, they had found Tim in the cabin. He had hung himself from a massive wooden beam. He had just been gently swinging there, face swollen and blue.

***

The man knew he had to call Silvia—Tim’s ex-wife—about the incident. He felt obligated to call her before the cops did and prepare her as gently and carefully as possible.

***

She was in the cemetery, visiting the graves of their two little daughters who had died in a bus crash a year ago.

They had been on a school trip when their bus had crashed after it slipped on the snow. They had hit a pole sideways. A few students had died that day, among which Rebecca and Monica. They had ejected out the window.

Silvia often talked to them as if they were actually with her. ‘Your stupid father keeps talking like a madman. He says you live with him now. And you are like a family. He says he is the single father of two ghosts. The man is crazy. I’m telling you, crazy.’ She shook her head and smirked.

The phone in her pocket rang.